I’m struggling without knowing it.
The internal dialogue but a whisper.
Diabolical in its destruction.
One day the mind stills enough.
Silence penetrates the abyss of self.
Awareness cracks through with a startle.

Connecting in my heart and thoughts with God, Spirit, the Universe, Jesus Christ, my Angels and Guides. All essential to who I am.
I’m struggling without knowing it.
The internal dialogue but a whisper.
Diabolical in its destruction.
One day the mind stills enough.
Silence penetrates the abyss of self.
Awareness cracks through with a startle.

Sometimes I wonder why we take on projects. The basement project technically resumed, given I had to open the ceiling and get ready for a new heating system.
I decided to keep moving along on my project. I tend to believe forward progress is always good. Even in everyday things of life. Sometimes it is good to sit and be still, but usually not long enough to get stagnant. I have done this at various times in my life as well. Trust me, it’s usually better to keep moving; even if the progress is in small increments.
The upstairs Renovation Adventure is not a small project; yet it is not as big as the basement turned out to be.

I began with removing a wall and then the chimney. The chimney is a remnant from days gone by. I’m sure it kept this place warm many nights. I even found a hole on the upper level of the chimney, along with evidence that area used to a room in itself. I pictured sitting here on cold nights in this room by the wood stove. My efforts continued the expansion out into the great “open concept” living space.

Behind the wall you can just see an outlet box. This outlet had been wired across the open air expanse near the wood stove chimney to another wall, which runs diagonal to the livingroom. That outlet never worked. It always faulted with an open ground or something. Now I know why. Shitty wiring.





Once I got the wall and chimney down I pulled the carpet out. I don’t know what’s more disgusting. 50 years of dirt under a carpet or … nothing. That pretty much hits the top. It’s gross. After cleaning it up I triggered a cascade of my allergies like I got hit with a sledgehammer to the head. My eyes swell up, get very itchy and my sinuses run hard. I went to see my nutritionist practitioner who can test for toxic chemicals and I came up with exposure to dioxins. It’s hard to say if that’s what was in the dirt, but everytime I dealt with that floor since it fires up my sensitivities.

I discovered the vinyl floor in the kitchen is actually 1/2″ higher than the rest of the upper floor. The bathroom is too. So I was going to just pry up the 1/2″ sub floor in the kitchen to bring it down level with the rest. Nope. That floor was laid before the cabinets. I would have had to trim all around the cabinets, behind the stove, behind the refrigerator and in the pantry. I decided it would be easier to lay 1/2″ sub floor and bring the rest of the deck up to match the kitchen and bathroom. Just finished doing that yesterday morning. This floor goes all through the master bedroom, closet, hallway, and hall closet. I’ll likely peel up the linoleum.

I picked up the paint for the master bedroom today. I know what I’m doing for the room you see above too but I’ll wait to buy the paint. I’m waiting for my drywall guy to come. He can blend in the wall imprints better than I ever could in the ceiling texture. I wanted to take the texture down, but it had been painted. If I try to scrape it, I would damage the drywall up there now.
Today I patched nail holes and such in the bedroom. I’m ready to start painting in there this week. I will shoot for laying the new flooring by the weekend.
Tomorrow or Tuesday, the new HVAC systems begin the process of going in. The guy will take out the old and the main supply duct. After he leaves, I’ll go in and harvest out the rest of the chimney from the utility room. That will really open up the space for the new furnace and storage.
So back to why we do this? Over the years when I would sell a house, I would spend the few months beforehand updating all the things needed to make the house marketable. And when finished, I would always wonder why I waited until it was time to sell to do those things. It was always nice and regretted not being able to enjoy it.
Now I’m doing this stuff up front. I’m going to enjoy this place with all of the updates right at the start. I know I may not recover all of the funds I have spent. I also know I’ve saved a ton of money doing a majority of the work myself. Even better to sit back and enjoy the fruits of my labor. I also believe leaving a place better than when I found it. So it all comes together.
I woke up this morning at 6. I wasn’t quite ready to get up and start my day. My bladder had other plans. I looked out the window in my front yard and sawfour deer. They were nibbling on my Apple tree out there. One adult, a yearling and two fawn.
The fawn were playing tag and chasing each around the yard. Once in awhile the other two would jump a bit to keep them going. It was just fun to watch.

The realization is they make life simple. They’re just doing what they know without a care. If only we could all do that.
I invite you to take some time this morning to reflect. Sit with God. Let Him into your heart. What are you doing in your life to overcomplicate things? What do you need to do to simplify?
As I write this out in my deck. I have a cup of coffee to enjoy. It helps me think. I ponder what the day will bring. It’s Saturday so do I want to work hard on my chore list, my project list, or I’m just gonna screw around list?

The red squirrel decided he didn’t like the grey squirrel getting in on the action. They chased each other up to the top of the tree then down.


A hummingbird bird hovered in to say hi.
I can hear the rooster over at my neighbors place. Reminds me earlier the fawns were curious about a guinea hen. They followed it around as she pecked at various bugs, even picking some of the dead ones from the front of my car.
Peaceful. The world around me is awake. Now I hear an owl declaring the day. God has blessed me this day. Comment below on how God has blessed you today.